








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3434 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3178 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2825 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2635 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $727,170 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hamstring | 73% | 37 |
| #2 | S-MagnU | 62% | 142 |
| #3 | 3'11 Top G | 56% | 144 |
| #4 | Syv | 55% | 69 |
| #5 | Soule | 52% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | S-MagnU | 62% | 142 |
| #3 | 3'11 Top G | 56% | 144 |
| #4 | Syv | 55% | 69 |
| #5 | Soule | 52% | 141 |
| #6 | bs-99 | 51% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soule | 19 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | 3'11 Top G | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | S-MagnU | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Syv | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | bs-99 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S-MagnU | 602 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | Soule | 420 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | 3'11 Top G | 382 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Hamstring | 176 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Syv | 156 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :p | +2.05 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | 3'11 Top G | +1.88 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | S-MagnU | +1.07 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | Syv | +0.18 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | Soule | -1.82 | 52 | 44 |





