








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 523 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3155 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3771 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3729 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3918 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,018,104 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 445 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LαzyΩ | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | Lowlita | 77% | 31 |
| #3 | JC_H | 74% | 27 |
| #4 | reel | 68% | 34 |
| #5 | LikeSarin | 66% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | o9me | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | JDAIN | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Dia | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | gambe | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | reel | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skippo | 255 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | breezyyLLLLLLLLL | 204 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lowlita | 189 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dia | 188 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | gambe | 142 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LikeSarin | +1.74 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | LαzyΩ | +1.37 | 70 | 70 |
| #3 | gambe | +0.98 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | chr1s | +0.98 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | JDAIN | +0.60 | 80 | 68 |





