










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1032 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 496 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10171 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9690 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 10041 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9825 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,104,014 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blondi-DK | 29 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | 4m4Rg3dd0N;) | 13 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Siggas | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Redskin666 | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | K3V1n"ELeVeN" | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Siggas | 487 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | CSBRO_Flash | 461 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | CSBRO-Pete-Panic- | 150 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | K3V1n"ELeVeN" | 136 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | 4m4Rg3dd0N;) | 135 | 0.09 | 3 min |





