








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 982 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 310 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15615 | 31% |
| Smokes | 10847 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 16228 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 7404 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,502,469 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1956 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bamsefar ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒ | 14 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ⓁⒾⓃⒹⒺⒼⒶⒶⓇⒹ | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | StokholmSyndromet | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | 666LUCIFER666 | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | [VND]Splif | 8 | 0.0030 |





