








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 953 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1930 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1630 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1270 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,443,145 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeroSlasherX | 56% | 72 |
| #2 | TheSwedishToad | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Bucket Man | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | Zetzaro | 47% | 184 |
| #5 | Chonky | 45% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TheSwedishToad | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Bucket Man | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | Zetzaro | 47% | 184 |
| #5 | Chonky | 45% | 118 |
| #6 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zetzaro | 16 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Chonky | 16 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | ZeroSlasherX | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Bucket Man | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | 5 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bucket Man | 380 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Zetzaro | 171 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Chonky | 100 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | 98 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | ZeroSlasherX | 52 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zetzaro | +2.19 | 59 | 51 |
| #2 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | +1.34 | 44 | 69 |
| #3 | Bucket Man | +1.03 | 62 | 65 |
| #4 | Chonky | +0.16 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | TheSwedishToad | +0.14 | 21 | 36 |





