








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1431 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2075 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2258 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2641 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,303,299 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeroSlasherX | 56% | 103 |
| #2 | Bucket Man | 55% | 212 |
| #3 | TheSwedishToad | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | 49% | 87 |
| #5 | Chonky | 49% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bucket Man | 55% | 212 |
| #3 | TheSwedishToad | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | 49% | 87 |
| #5 | Chonky | 49% | 249 |
| #6 | Flyingcarparts | 47% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chonky | 33 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Flyingcarparts | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ZeroSlasherX | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Bucket Man | 9 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bucket Man | 855 | 0.19 | 27 min |
| #2 | Chonky | 270 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | 270 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Flyingcarparts | 134 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | ZeroSlasherX | 68 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | +2.04 | 45 | 74 |
| #2 | Zetzaro | +1.24 | 64 | 50 |
| #3 | Bucket Man | +1.15 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | Chonky | -0.35 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | TheSwedishToad | -1.17 | 19 | 35 |





