








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 444 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4182 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4695 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3502 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3276 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,363,211 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zetzaro | 55% | 212 |
| #2 | Chonky | 51% | 411 |
| #3 | Flyingcarparts | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | TheSwedishToad | 50% | 76 |
| #5 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | 50% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Chonky | 51% | 411 |
| #3 | Flyingcarparts | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | TheSwedishToad | 50% | 76 |
| #5 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | 50% | 122 |
| #6 | ZeroSlasherX | 49% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chonky | 32 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Zetzaro | 26 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | ZeroSlasherX | 13 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Flyingcarparts | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chonky | 426 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #2 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | 365 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Zetzaro | 166 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | ZeroSlasherX | 111 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Flyingcarparts | 65 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvoytas | +1.98 | 43 | 72 |
| #2 | Zetzaro | +0.83 | 64 | 49 |
| #3 | Bucket Man | +0.82 | 64 | 59 |
| #4 | Chonky | -0.08 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | ZeroSlasherX | -1.95 | 26 | 45 |





