








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,244 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 587 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1218 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1044 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 395 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $124,966 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bastos_tck | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Your Mummys's Boy | 55% | 75 |
| #3 | Mitch | 52% | 143 |
| #4 | mazette | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | naio | 47% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naio | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Mitch | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Your Mummys's Boy | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Samael | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | mazette | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitch | 596 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | naio | 159 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Your Mummys's Boy | 66 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bastos_tck | 56 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | mazette | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Your Mummys's Boy | +3.95 | 68 | 49 |
| #2 | Mitch | +2.77 | 46 | 65 |
| #3 | Borderline | +0.63 | 33 | 37 |
| #4 | mazette | -0.37 | 24 | 47 |
| #5 | Bastos_tck | -1.07 | 16 | 74 |





