








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 648 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3113 | 67% |
| HE Grenades | 645 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 269 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $241,295 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Your Mummys's Boy | 43% | 44 |
| #2 | Mitch | 41% | 217 |
| #3 | naio | 38% | 169 |
| #4 | Borderline | 38% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Your Mummys's Boy | 43% | 44 |
| #2 | Mitch | 41% | 217 |
| #3 | naio | 38% | 169 |
| #4 | Borderline | 38% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naio | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Mitch | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Borderline | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Your Mummys's Boy | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitch | 774 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | naio | 206 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Borderline | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Your Mummys's Boy | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Your Mummys's Boy | +3.56 | 74 | 48 |
| #2 | Mitch | +3.22 | 51 | 65 |
| #3 | Borderline | +1.48 | 33 | 37 |
| #4 | naio | -2.06 | 11 | 54 |
| #5 | Samael | -3.91 | 13 | 28 |





