








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 202 | 28% |
| Smokes | 164 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 157 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 192 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $43,879 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arktos | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | gingaa | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | doltn^v^ | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Wearwolf | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Bipolar Bunny | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bipolar Bunny | 50% | 24 |
| #6 | KayJay | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | flixxy^-^💞 | 25% | 8 |
| #8 | eutopia | 0% | 2 |
| #9 | El Becerro Sangre Fria | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flixxy^-^💞 | 4 | 0.0253 |
| #2 | Arktos | 1 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | eutopia | 1 | 0.0213 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KayJay | 63 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | Bipolar Bunny | 58 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | gingaa | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | flixxy^-^💞 | 52 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #5 | eutopia | 9 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doltn^v^ | +6.23 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | eutopia | +1.11 | 80 | 25 |
| #3 | gingaa | +0.56 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | KayJay | -1.00 | 85 | 68 |
| #5 | Bipolar Bunny | -1.17 | 75 | 61 |





