








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,468 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 385 | 26% |
| Smokes | 298 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 419 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 366 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $183,585 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fkmup | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | msc | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | YUNG FLASHBANG | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | LOG PISSER | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | gingaa | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | try who want me | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | Makzwell | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | Devid Yones-あらあら | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Wearwolf | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | kermit ♥ | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | try who want me | 3 | 0.0300 |
| #2 | YUNG FLASHBANG | 1 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Makzwell | 1 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | LOG PISSER | 1 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YUNG FLASHBANG | 81 | 0.51 | 2 min |
| #2 | try who want me | 57 | 0.57 | 2 min |
| #3 | fkmup | 24 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #4 | Makzwell | 11 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Devid Yones-あらあら | 8 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arktos | +3.96 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | fkmup | +3.19 | 66 | 59 |
| #3 | gingaa | +3.14 | 89 | 71 |
| #4 | msc | +2.07 | 65 | 69 |
| #5 | YUNG FLASHBANG | +1.54 | 52 | 79 |





