








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 289 | 26% |
| Smokes | 235 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 374 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 217 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,449 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fish Euthanizer | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | debtsooB | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | Elon Puffs | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Is0 - cs2hq.com | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | Oh man | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Is0 - cs2hq.com | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | Oh man | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Pasha Triceps | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | S T A X | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Snake - cs2hq.com | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Is0 - cs2hq.com | 11 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | debtsooB | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Snake - cs2hq.com | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Fish Euthanizer | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | S T A X | 2 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Is0 - cs2hq.com | 224 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | Fish Euthanizer | 100 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Snake - cs2hq.com | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | debtsooB | 64 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Oh man | 23 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oh man | +5.66 | 76 | 49 |
| #2 | trunks cs2hq.com | +2.21 | 68 | 32 |
| #3 | Is0 - cs2hq.com | +1.96 | 75 | 70 |
| #4 | Fish Euthanizer | +1.95 | 75 | 50 |
| #5 | S T A X | +0.69 | 53 | 29 |





