








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 159 | 20% |
| Smokes | 237 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 239 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 170 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,881 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fish Euthanizer | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | bone | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Snake - cs2hq.com | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Pasha Triceps | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Is0 - cs2hq.com | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | TehShow | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | trunks cs2hq.com | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | Elon Puffs | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | HeatheN | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | pro ._. | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Is0 - cs2hq.com | 6 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | debtsooB | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | trunks cs2hq.com | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Elon Puffs | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Is0 - cs2hq.com | 91 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #2 | Fish Euthanizer | 32 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | trunks cs2hq.com | 19 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | debtsooB | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | TehShow | 11 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oh man | +3.44 | 69 | 45 |
| #2 | pro ._. | +2.49 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | Is0 - cs2hq.com | +2.04 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | trunks cs2hq.com | +1.46 | 64 | 24 |
| #5 | TehShow | +1.06 | 55 | 63 |





