








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 618 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7755 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8666 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5313 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6954 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,234,952 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 487 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 58% | 214 |
| #2 | jarxy | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | mikke ^.- | 45% | 273 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 58% | 214 |
| #2 | jarxy | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | mikke ^.- | 45% | 273 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | mikke ^.- | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | jarxy | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 807 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | mikke ^.- | 666 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | jarxy | 120 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarded =Dsh00ter | +3.09 | 93 | 70 |
| #2 | TOmi ^.- | +0.61 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | jarxy | -1.04 | 73 | 55 |
| #4 | mikke ^.- | -3.39 | 61 | 52 |





