








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2185 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1679 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1937 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1777 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1490 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,716 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕝𝕠𝕗𝕚 | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Fate | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | jpas | 49% | 84 |
| #4 | Sims | 48% | 52 |
| #5 | Majix88 | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jpas | 49% | 84 |
| #4 | Sims | 48% | 52 |
| #5 | Majix88 | 48% | 73 |
| #6 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | 46% | 54 |
| #7 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sims | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Majix88 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | jpas | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | 𝕝𝕠𝕗𝕚 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majix88 | 245 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | 186 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | jpas | 119 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sims | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fate | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fate | +2.97 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | Sims | +2.40 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | ☯ Magpie | +0.40 | 70 | 58 |
| #4 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | +0.32 | 48 | 69 |
| #5 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | -0.23 | 59 | 71 |





