








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 469 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 650 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7248 | 21% |
| Smokes | 9139 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9372 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8397 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,498,167 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕝𝕠𝕗𝕚 | 54% | 118 |
| #2 | Sims | 54% | 67 |
| #3 | ☯ Magpie | 49% | 84 |
| #4 | .𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒂𝒛𝒚 | 48% | 173 |
| #5 | Fate | 47% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fate | 47% | 156 |
| #6 | Majix88 | 47% | 235 |
| #7 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | 46% | 276 |
| #8 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | 44% | 95 |
| #9 | Shiggy | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Sims | 12 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | .𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒂𝒛𝒚 | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Majix88 | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | 985 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | Majix88 | 848 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #3 | Fate | 575 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #4 | .𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒂𝒛𝒚 | 437 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | Shiggy | 282 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fate | +3.48 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | Sims | +2.92 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | ☯ Magpie | +1.76 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | .𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒂𝒛𝒚 | +1.63 | 51 | 53 |
| #5 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | +1.42 | 61 | 65 |





