








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6342 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4405 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3812 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3559 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,384 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niiiiiiE(`~`◐\/⊊|<E`-'b)/ | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Sims | 60% | 65 |
| #3 | 𝕝𝕠𝕗𝕚 | 58% | 173 |
| #4 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | 54% | 130 |
| #5 | Fate | 53% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | camla | 50% | 28 |
| #8 | Shiggy | 49% | 93 |
| #9 | ☯ Magpie | 48% | 73 |
| #10 | jpas | 47% | 235 |
| #11 | MannyOnTheMap | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | ☯ Magpie | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | jpas | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Sims | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | MannyOnTheMap | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | 959 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | Fate | 539 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | jpas | 361 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | 287 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | 𝕝𝕠𝕗𝕚 | 274 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niiiiiiE(`~`◐\/⊊|<E`-'b)/ | +4.02 | 66 | 53 |
| #2 | Fate | +3.48 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | Sims | +2.59 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | MannyOnTheMap | +1.40 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | +0.79 | 61 | 69 |





