








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 192 matches | 1,916 | |
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4700 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6650 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2926 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4615 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,032,788 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taurine | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | kympin velasta vetoo | 58% | 60 |
| #3 | gerhardt stiegel | 50% | 101 |
| #4 | Bot Nikosypis | 49% | 65 |
| #5 | seviB | 49% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ankienttei | 44% | 39 |
| #8 | crito | 43% | 42 |
| #9 | NilJake | 41% | 37 |
| #10 | Bahvinkeitin :) | 37% | 43 |
| #11 | Shadowcoins | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ankienttei | 7 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | seviB | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | gerhardt stiegel | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Bot Nikosypis | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | NilJake | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seviB | 465 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | gerhardt stiegel | 273 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | kympin velasta vetoo | 186 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | crito | 185 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Shadowcoins | 169 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taurine | +2.18 | 64 | 75 |
| #2 | seviB | +2.06 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | gerhardt stiegel | +1.70 | 68 | 69 |
| #4 | kympin velasta vetoo | +1.61 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | Bot Nikosypis | +0.69 | 53 | 52 |





