










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 486 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4065 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3761 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3928 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4365 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,250 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~ yomui | 45 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Anthonyz | 37 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | syncy | 25 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | ogga ooga oga | 16 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | 我喜欢吃狗 | 12 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anthonyz | 1045 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #2 | ogga ooga oga | 944 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #3 | syncy | 873 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #4 | ~ yomui | 723 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #5 | Flip | 549 | 0.16 | 11 min |





