








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3417 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2561 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2212 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2972 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,156 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | m1key | 62% | 118 |
| #8 | syncy | 61% | 190 |
| #9 | Anthonyz | 57% | 137 |
| #10 | wibunahhh | 56% | 213 |
| #11 | ~ yomui | 56% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anthonyz | 22 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | ~ yomui | 20 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | syncy | 20 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | wibunahhh | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | 我喜欢吃狗 | 8 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syncy | 581 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Anthonyz | 488 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | ~ yomui | 466 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | wibunahhh | 391 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | m1key | 298 | 0.13 | 8 min |





