








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5578 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3191 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3234 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3537 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,188,682 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | dickes | 59% | 41 |
| #11 | naisu. | 58% | 81 |
| #12 | wibunahhh | 58% | 272 |
| #13 | lolerbears | 57% | 72 |
| #14 | ~ yomui | 56% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~ yomui | 36 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Anthonyz | 28 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | 我喜欢吃狗 | 17 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | ogga ooga oga | 16 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | wibunahhh | 11 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ogga ooga oga | 937 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| #2 | Anthonyz | 756 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | ~ yomui | 529 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | naisu. | 475 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #5 | wibunahhh | 470 | 0.09 | 10 min |





