








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1133 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1685 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2446 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1859 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,766 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pod | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Fl1ppy | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Enkeltrickbetrüger | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | WaaxeL | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | Zymt | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | immobilo | 52% | 33 |
| #11 | Jonny | 50% | 16 |
| #12 | werner ziegler | 49% | 59 |
| #13 | silva | 43% | 23 |
| #14 | Er3mit | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sl1ce | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | werner ziegler | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | iLight | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | WaaxeL | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | immobilo | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sl1ce | 217 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | iLight | 193 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | werner ziegler | 164 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | immobilo | 121 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | WaaxeL | 71 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fl1ppy | +2.70 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | werner ziegler | +2.57 | 92 | 53 |
| #3 | Pod | +2.51 | 89 | 72 |
| #4 | WaaxeL | +2.19 | 85 | 68 |
| #5 | ★DemonJK | +1.66 | 78 | 30 |





