








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 177 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1793 | 61% |
| HE Grenades | 493 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 496 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $398,664 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blam. | 63% | 67 |
| #2 | Nukezz | 52% | 122 |
| #3 | Gabagool? Over Here!!! | 50% | 141 |
| #4 | Davelord ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 48% | 63 |
| #5 | ماركو | 47% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ۞T۞a۞r۞D۞i۞a۞N | 42% | 31 |
| #7 | Masoj | 42% | 36 |
| #8 | Purgatxrial | 40% | 48 |
| #9 | sebbqq | 37% | 126 |
| #10 | NaChO | 33% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sebbqq | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | NaChO | 7 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Nukezz | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ماركو | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | blam. | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blam. | 206 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Nukezz | 205 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Davelord ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 179 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | sebbqq | 93 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gabagool? Over Here!!! | 91 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blam. | +6.40 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | Davelord ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +5.53 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | Nukezz | +5.49 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | ۞T۞a۞r۞D۞i۞a۞N | +4.04 | 42 | 35 |
| #5 | NaChO | +3.27 | 34 | 47 |





