








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 624 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1294 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1047 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 509 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,249 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoppyChan69 | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Underhill | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | PoppyChan69 | 46% | 90 |
| #4 | Orb | 45% | 40 |
| #5 | Kranked | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Underhill | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | PoppyChan69 | 46% | 90 |
| #4 | Orb | 45% | 40 |
| #5 | Kranked | 45% | 47 |
| #6 | BHammer | 31% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoppyChan69 | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Kranked | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Underhill | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | BHammer | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Orb | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoppyChan69 | 148 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | BHammer | 113 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Orb | 93 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Underhill | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kranked | 23 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoppyChan69 | +7.23 | 66 | 54 |
| #2 | Underhill | +4.69 | 59 | 47 |
| #3 | PoppyChan69 | +1.53 | 64 | 51 |
| #4 | Kranked | +1.33 | 70 | 32 |
| #5 | Orb | +0.38 | 79 | 54 |





