








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4776 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2903 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3749 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3543 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,725,287 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 401 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruTus | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | dern till | 57% | 69 |
| #3 | Trippy | 56% | 72 |
| #4 | hvy | 55% | 130 |
| #5 | burger 166742361191142069666231 | 54% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | burger 166742361191142069666231 | 30 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Trippy | 25 | 0.0184 |
| #3 | poor slave | 21 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | hvy | 16 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Will | 9 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Will | 370 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | hvy | 357 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | poor slave | 270 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | burger 166742361191142069666231 | 161 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Trippy | 111 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruTus | +3.23 | 89 | 50 |
| #2 | hvy | +2.87 | 85 | 48 |
| #3 | g | +2.51 | 83 | 56 |
| #4 | dern till | +1.52 | 72 | 33 |
| #5 | Will | +1.29 | 70 | 56 |





