








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 101 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1706 | 36% |
| Smokes | 580 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1055 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1457 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,717 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | hvy | 58% | 52 |
| #5 | Will | 57% | 88 |
| #6 | dern till | 55% | 66 |
| #7 | g | 54% | 123 |
| #8 | FaZe Pig | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trippy | 35 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | Will | 25 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | dern till | 15 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | hvy | 8 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | FaZe Pig | 6 | 0.0115 |





