








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2747 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2003 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3957 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2681 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $836,862 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 579 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy Swim Man | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | SigmaBalls | 55% | 207 |
| #3 | angy milki | 52% | 294 |
| #4 | Aspyre Doggi | 51% | 166 |
| #5 | IXtremezI | 48% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy Swim Man | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | SigmaBalls | 55% | 207 |
| #3 | angy milki | 52% | 294 |
| #4 | Aspyre Doggi | 51% | 166 |
| #5 | IXtremezI | 48% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angy milki | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | SigmaBalls | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | IXtremezI | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Aspyre Doggi | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Crazy Swim Man | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SigmaBalls | 998 | 0.23 | 23 min |
| #2 | angy milki | 622 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | IXtremezI | 373 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Aspyre Doggi | 272 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Crazy Swim Man | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angy milki | +3.15 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Crazy Swim Man | +1.47 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | SigmaBalls | +0.16 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | Aspyre Doggi | -0.96 | 79 | 50 |
| #5 | Lørn | -1.17 | 79 | 65 |





