








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1185 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2892 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1670 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1192 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $560,907 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mercure | 52% | 169 |
| #2 | Nikita | 50% | 209 |
| #3 | McAston | 50% | 138 |
| #4 | Jei eM By | 48% | 168 |
| #5 | Bayraktar | 41% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nikita | 50% | 209 |
| #3 | McAston | 50% | 138 |
| #4 | Jei eM By | 48% | 168 |
| #5 | Bayraktar | 41% | 59 |
| #6 | Levelīna | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jei eM By | 18 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Nikita | 16 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | McAston | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | mercure | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Levelīna | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jei eM By | 503 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | McAston | 343 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | mercure | 284 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Nikita | 168 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Levelīna | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mercure | +4.27 | 62 | 58 |
| #2 | Nikita | +0.37 | 48 | 56 |
| #3 | McAston | -0.16 | 56 | 67 |
| #4 | Mākonīc | -1.19 | 35 | 52 |
| #5 | Jei eM By | -1.53 | 39 | 61 |





