








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1705 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2193 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2221 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1795 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $334,973 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BREJLONAUT | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | Jakubak_ | 54% | 112 |
| #3 | Ruda :) | 50% | 56 |
| #4 | √ιק Lucky ツ | 50% | 66 |
| #5 | hamakyss | 49% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jakubak_ | 54% | 112 |
| #3 | Ruda :) | 50% | 56 |
| #4 | √ιק Lucky ツ | 50% | 66 |
| #5 | hamakyss | 49% | 114 |
| #6 | Vdovik | 49% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hamakyss | 21 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Ruda :) | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Jakubak_ | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Vdovik | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | √ιק Lucky ツ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakubak_ | 292 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | hamakyss | 177 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | BREJLONAUT | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Vdovik | 60 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | √ιק Lucky ツ | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakubak_ | +2.91 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | Cháďa | +1.19 | 59 | 63 |
| #3 | Vdovik | +0.54 | 58 | 41 |
| #4 | hamakyss | -0.10 | 48 | 46 |
| #5 | Ruda :) | -0.82 | 43 | 27 |





