








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 750 | 25% |
| Smokes | 585 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 856 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 775 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $407,104 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devogen ☂ | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | enback | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | Jollie | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | S.Koivu | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | Spindeln? | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jollie | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | S.Koivu | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | Spindeln? | 42% | 26 |
| #6 | Wintersun Jari | 40% | 20 |
| #7 | Bumbibjörnmaffian | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enback | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | S.Koivu | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enback | 381 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | S.Koivu | 162 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | devogen ☂ | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Spindeln? | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jollie | 43 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zundinho | +2.00 | 92 | 56 |
| #2 | enback | +0.88 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Jollie | +0.64 | 87 | 60 |
| #4 | Spindeln? | -0.62 | 36 | 58 |
| #5 | Bumbibjörnmaffian | -0.68 | 37 | 68 |





