








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 890 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5536 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4644 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4019 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4781 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,000,046 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1007 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SteDarN- | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Zundinho | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | jean 👁👄👁 | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | ★ Sovi3t ★ | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Danne | 52% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | S.Koivu | 49% | 155 |
| #8 | devogen ☂ | 48% | 52 |
| #9 | Wintersun Jari | 47% | 121 |
| #10 | namet | 46% | 35 |
| #11 | Sp|ineS | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S.Koivu | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Spindeln? | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Zundinho | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | SteDarN- | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Wintersun Jari | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S.Koivu | 325 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Wintersun Jari | 218 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Spindeln? | 196 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Zundinho | 121 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | namet | 117 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SteDarN- | +3.14 | 44 | 71 |
| #2 | ★ Sovi3t ★ | +2.86 | 70 | 59 |
| #3 | Zundinho | +2.03 | 92 | 56 |
| #4 | enback | +0.87 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | Sp|ineS | +0.68 | 59 | 78 |





