








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 973 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 500 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4901 | 20% |
| Smokes | 9807 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 3564 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5969 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,691,962 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kodak | 49% | 542 |
| #2 | Fibreman | 49% | 408 |
| #3 | AlphaByAceDrive mit TÜV | 48% | 67 |
| #4 | Pate | 47% | 576 |
| #5 | Ðallisan | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Fibreman | 49% | 408 |
| #3 | AlphaByAceDrive mit TÜV | 48% | 67 |
| #4 | Pate | 47% | 576 |
| #5 | Ðallisan | 46% | 56 |
| #6 | Hedwig | 41% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kodak | 17 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Pate | 7 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Fibreman | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Hedwig | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Ðallisan | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kodak | 1661 | 0.15 | 35 min |
| #2 | Fibreman | 377 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | Pate | 372 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #4 | AlphaByAceDrive mit TÜV | 158 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hedwig | 100 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ðallisan | +3.32 | 65 | 38 |
| #2 | AlphaByAceDrive mit TÜV | +2.80 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | I like Turtles <3 | +1.96 | 61 | 63 |
| #4 | Hedwig | +0.58 | 47 | 45 |
| #5 | Kodak | -0.19 | 49 | 66 |





