








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1472 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 833 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




267 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1303 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1493 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 10782 | 61% |
| Molotovs | 4033 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,350 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 777 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ×͜× | 46% | 76 |
| #6 | STRATBOY | 46% | 303 |
| #7 | Oz1ris | 44% | 63 |
| #8 | LgM- | 43% | 49 |
| #9 | Bridzaa | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STRATBOY | 101 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | 99 problems | 40 | 0.0167 |
| #3 | BAARDA | 23 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | maar4a | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Oz1ris | 7 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAARDA | 423 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | LgM- | 260 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | Oz1ris | 183 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | STRATBOY | 174 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | maar4a | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |





