








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 418 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3428 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3191 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4130 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2877 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,837,177 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 99 problems | 53% | 51 |
| #2 | Its me. | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | Armands | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Hazard | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Oz1ris | 49% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ardzeik | 61 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | STRATBOY | 39 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | 99 problems | 17 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | maar4a | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | LgM- | 5 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LgM- | 345 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Oz1ris | 228 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | maar4a | 223 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Its me. | 157 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ardzeik | 111 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maar4a | +4.46 | 80 | 53 |
| #2 | Its me. | +2.93 | 66 | 80 |
| #3 | 99 problems | +2.76 | 79 | 44 |
| #4 | Armands | +2.02 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | LgM- | +1.73 | 64 | 78 |





