








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1443 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1761 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2356 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,794 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEN LILLE | 56% | 95 |
| #2 | Nocah_oni | 55% | 75 |
| #3 | Artyon | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | Nadror | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | TEAMJBZZ | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEN LILLE | 56% | 95 |
| #2 | Nocah_oni | 55% | 75 |
| #3 | Artyon | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | Nadror | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | TEAMJBZZ | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEN LILLE | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | TEAMJBZZ | 9 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Artyon | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Nocah_oni | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Nadror | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEN LILLE | 684 | 0.34 | 17 min |
| #2 | Nocah_oni | 402 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #3 | Artyon | 269 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Nadror | 210 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | TEAMJBZZ | 208 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nocah_oni | +1.41 | 69 | 70 |
| #2 | DEN LILLE | +1.04 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | TEAMJBZZ | +1.01 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | Nadror | +0.08 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | Samourai | +0.08 | 72 | 46 |





