








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2677 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2019 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3183 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1719 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,963 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEAMJBZZ | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | DEN LILLE | 57% | 148 |
| #3 | Samourai | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | Nocah_oni | 52% | 117 |
| #5 | Nadror | 51% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEAMJBZZ | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | DEN LILLE | 57% | 148 |
| #3 | Samourai | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | Nocah_oni | 52% | 117 |
| #5 | Nadror | 51% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEN LILLE | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Nocah_oni | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Nadror | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Samourai | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | TEAMJBZZ | 6 | 0.0128 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEN LILLE | 801 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | Nocah_oni | 604 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #3 | Nadror | 409 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Samourai | 146 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | TEAMJBZZ | 136 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEAMJBZZ | +2.76 | 64 | 69 |
| #2 | Nocah_oni | +1.69 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | DEN LILLE | +0.85 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | Samourai | +0.62 | 72 | 50 |
| #5 | Nadror | +0.50 | 74 | 61 |





