








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 906 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5156 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2295 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3866 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2494 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,298,553 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 623 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strider | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | dis_pc | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | Trashbag Popcorn | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Mike Byson | 46% | 74 |
| #5 | Baldus | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strider | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | dis_pc | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | Trashbag Popcorn | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Mike Byson | 46% | 74 |
| #5 | Baldus | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baldus | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | dis_pc | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Mike Byson | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | strider | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dis_pc | 283 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | strider | 127 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Baldus | 124 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mike Byson | 55 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Trashbag Popcorn | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeilTheGrassfedByson | +1.91 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | dis_pc | -0.02 | 52 | 63 |
| #3 | Trashbag Popcorn | -0.32 | 54 | 44 |
| #4 | Baldus | -1.10 | 58 | 57 |
| #5 | strider | -1.67 | 52 | 65 |





