








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 730 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 828 matches | ||
| Wingman | 347 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




343 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12073 | 40% |
| Smokes | 4973 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 8506 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4637 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,306,864 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SenseI | 42% | 92 |
| #5 | Mr.mimmu | 42% | 98 |
| #6 | ℳ𓂅𓂅ଘഒ 𝑇𓂅ഒ | 42% | 77 |
| #7 | Kebabushka | 41% | 233 |
| #8 | De1L | 29% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barack Obama | 1072 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | Kebabushka | 517 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | ℳ𓂅𓂅ଘഒ 𝑇𓂅ഒ | 412 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #4 | De1L | 264 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | BOT_Volkswagen Das Auto | 240 | 0.11 | 4 min |





