








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1019 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 314 matches | ||
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6263 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5021 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4026 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4369 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,353,117 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fawen | Play Hard or Die Trying | 58% | 117 |
| #6 | T-Dawg | 53% | 70 |
| #7 | tquigi | 53% | 258 |
| #8 | Sasse | 45% | 33 |
| #9 | roacH | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kreuzband RIZZ | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | tquigi | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Fawen | Play Hard or Die Trying | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | roacH | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | cronixen | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fawen | Play Hard or Die Trying | +1.91 | 88 | 74 |
| #2 | wombat. EV EV | +1.38 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | ✪ Rep3at | +1.24 | 70 | 72 |
| #4 | tquigi | +1.02 | 88 | 54 |
| #5 | Kreuzband RIZZ | +0.57 | 82 | 69 |





