








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 752 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2915 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2883 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2510 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1670 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $958,138 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Šišhkin | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | Storm | 61% | 114 |
| #5 | papa Margus | 53% | 191 |
| #6 | ReDWateR | 52% | 66 |
| #7 | 1.2 D | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papa Margus | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ReDWateR | 11 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Storm | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Bill Balsam | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Šišhkin | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papa Margus | 832 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | ReDWateR | 269 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Storm | 183 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Šišhkin | 67 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | 1.2 D | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReDWateR | +3.88 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | Šišhkin | +2.46 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | papa Margus | +2.25 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | ✪Junnmann | +1.37 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | 1.2 D | -2.96 | 49 | 48 |





