








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2415 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1688 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1513 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1916 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,006 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOGmaster4566 | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | adv1ce | 60% | 106 |
| #3 | Mike Oxmaul | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | v3nga3nc3 | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | scuffuy | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOGmaster4566 | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | adv1ce | 60% | 106 |
| #3 | Mike Oxmaul | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | v3nga3nc3 | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | scuffuy | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adv1ce | 16 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Mike Oxmaul | 15 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | DOGmaster4566 | 10 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | scuffuy | 5 | 0.0159 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adv1ce | 250 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | DOGmaster4566 | 103 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mike Oxmaul | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | v3nga3nc3 | 50 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | scuffuy | 28 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | confl1ct | +3.85 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | adv1ce | +2.43 | 87 | 50 |
| #3 | v3nga3nc3 | -0.22 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | DOGmaster4566 | -1.18 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | scuffuy | -2.38 | 56 | 41 |





