








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 981 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1153 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 874 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1164 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $808,609 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arangoal18 | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Lecker Fußsandwich | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | revo | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | L0sER | 40% | 103 |
| #5 | pain. | 39% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pain. | 15 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | L0sER | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Negacy | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Intrusion Detection System | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | revo | 3 | 0.0071 |





