








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 402 | 17% |
| Smokes | 770 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 589 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 565 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,368 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Munkken | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Filpsterr | 4 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Viagraddict | 3 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | affepoika | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | PargasSimpen cs.money | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | affepoika | 72 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Filpsterr | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Munkken | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dukki | 32 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rattle | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |





