








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1945 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 740 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6747 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6604 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4361 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6357 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,830,187 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 540 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polarr シ | 53% | 496 |
| #2 | alrightdude | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | Er1c | 51% | 195 |
| #4 | nives | 51% | 92 |
| #5 | KilLer- | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Er1c | 51% | 195 |
| #4 | nives | 51% | 92 |
| #5 | KilLer- | 51% | 57 |
| #6 | rSn | 50% | 50 |
| #7 | pete | 47% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polarr シ | 24 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | alrightdude | 14 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Er1c | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | pete | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | nives | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polarr シ | 2192 | 0.21 | 54 min |
| #2 | Er1c | 839 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #3 | pete | 560 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #4 | alrightdude | 284 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | KilLer- | 196 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polarr シ | +2.37 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | Runco | +1.34 | 84 | 55 |
| #3 | Er1c | +0.13 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | pete | -0.09 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | rSn | -0.99 | 56 | 55 |





