








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1806 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 485 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8304 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6629 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6314 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4559 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,205,037 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1564 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leeham | 67% | 70 |
| #2 | devy | 61% | 61 |
| #3 | Momo | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | MeatButter | 53% | 134 |
| #5 | Er1c | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polarr シ | 871 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | KilLer- | 796 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #3 | MeatButter | 585 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #4 | Runco | 443 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | rSn | 427 | 0.11 | 9 min |





