








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 45 | 14% |
| Smokes | 101 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 102 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 66 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $154,835 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fluffy stuffles | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | Dr. Bustdown | 33% | 12 |
| #3 | JSquared | 25% | 4 |
| #4 | enough | 23% | 13 |
| #5 | Yakub | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JSquared | 25% | 4 |
| #4 | enough | 23% | 13 |
| #5 | Yakub | 20% | 5 |
| #6 | *+ DIE LIT *+ <3 | 14% | 7 |
| #7 | Tickle Monster >:3 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yakub | 1 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | JSquared | 1 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Bustdown | 75 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #2 | fluffy stuffles | 57 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | enough | 23 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | JSquared | 19 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #5 | *+ DIE LIT *+ <3 | 16 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Bustdown | +1.08 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | enough | +1.07 | 48 | 43 |
| #3 | ANAVAR HABIT | +0.68 | 57 | 24 |
| #4 | Yakub | +0.49 | 36 | 47 |
| #5 | *+ DIE LIT *+ <3 | -0.13 | 32 | 33 |





