








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 918 | 45% |
| Smokes | 295 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 487 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 334 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $134,632 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kersting | 38% | 8 |
| #2 | not Wolf | 31% | 13 |
| #3 | MrStacky | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | Noname | 25% | 8 |
| #5 | dandrews | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | not Wolf | 31% | 13 |
| #3 | MrStacky | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | Noname | 25% | 8 |
| #5 | dandrews | 17% | 6 |
| #6 | Oliver | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not Wolf | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | kersting | 1 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | dandrews | 1 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 60 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #2 | not Wolf | 43 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | kersting | 26 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | dandrews | 21 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | MrStacky | 20 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +3.91 | 55 | 59 |
| #2 | MrStacky | +3.25 | 71 | 32 |
| #3 | not Wolf | +2.39 | 85 | 55 |
| #4 | Oliver | +2.08 | 84 | 53 |
| #5 | kersting | +1.21 | 83 | 49 |





