








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 509 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5305 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6274 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4743 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5498 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,488,122 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 670 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | steeppari | 53% | 182 |
| #6 | VACation | 53% | 168 |
| #7 | MasiMUnapää | 52% | 120 |
| #8 | Tomppa | 51% | 559 |
| #9 | Make Makea | 43% | 258 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppa | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Make Makea | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | VACation | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Hosuri | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | steeppari | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppa | 2648 | 0.23 | 83 min |
| #2 | Make Makea | 667 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | VACation | 460 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | Kirple | 251 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | MasiMUnapää | 187 | 0.08 | 5 min |





