








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3759 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1716 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2530 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2014 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,662 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | just | 53% | 66 |
| #2 | Hosuri | 48% | 122 |
| #3 | steeppari | 44% | 81 |
| #4 | MasiMUnapää | 44% | 59 |
| #5 | Jokhiis | 43% | 258 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MasiMUnapää | 44% | 59 |
| #5 | Jokhiis | 43% | 258 |
| #6 | Tomppa | 42% | 264 |
| #7 | VACation | 37% | 60 |
| #8 | Kirple | 36% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hosuri | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Jokhiis | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Kirple | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Tomppa | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | MasiMUnapää | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppa | 629 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | Jokhiis | 341 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | VACation | 89 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kirple | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | MasiMUnapää | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | just | +3.97 | 78 | 42 |
| #2 | steeppari | +1.68 | 80 | 46 |
| #3 | Jokhiis | +1.64 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | VACation | +1.02 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | Tomppa | +0.68 | 68 | 76 |





