








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 458 | 7% |
| Smokes | 2583 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2045 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1213 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,367,776 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kirple | 58% | 64 |
| #8 | steeppari | 58% | 109 |
| #9 | Hosuri | 58% | 109 |
| #10 | Tomppa | 58% | 288 |
| #11 | Make Makea | 53% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppa | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Jokhiis | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Hosuri | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Make Makea | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | steeppari | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppa | 1494 | 0.25 | 48 min |
| #2 | Jokhiis | 533 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | VACation | 177 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Make Makea | 142 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | MasiMUnapää | 119 | 0.08 | 3 min |





